Current Affairs

10 New Year’s Resolution for BN

‘Tis the time of the year again where most of us would try to find some time alone, turn the air conditioning on high, hide under the covers and pretend it’s snowing outside. Some would might opt to take out their little bedazzled note books and start writing down their new year’s resolutions with multi coloured crayons.

Seeing that some of us are not so contemplative, we decided to do one for the Barisan Nasional, with little hope that it will not be broken before the end of the month.

1. Be nice to people
For a start, maybe just allow people to assemble and demonstrate in the streets of Kuala Lumpur and not set the police to beat them half to death.




2. Read a book
…like the Federal Constitution, with the help of a law dictionary. Just in case some words ar difficult to understand. Especially in the fundamental rights part.




3. Spend more time with the family
Well maybe not family per se, but the rakyat. Instead of just saying to do so, why not take some time to sit with them in coffee shops, without the usual gang of bodyguards and posse hanging around. Sit with the occupy gang perhaps.

4. Make new friends
…with the leaders of Pakatan Rakyat. Since they might be taking over your places in the government, and the rakyat would appreciate a smooth transition of power.




5. Save the environment
Be a dear to the people of Kuantan and scrap the Lynas plant. We know you can’t bear the thought of losing a lot of profit. But we have no intention to end up like the poor folks at Bukit Merah. Please, listen to us.

6. Lose some weight
Aside from losing physical weight by rigorous exercise and healthy diet (which will help make you look young without extensive botox shots), you might want to lose some dead weight in the form of politicians that do not benefit you. Like those racist and extremist leaders crying for blood every now and again.
7. Learn a new skill
Knitting would be an excellent choice, but we prefer you take up the skill of honesty. Stop manipulating facts and tell the mainstream media to report the truth, instead of writing the script for them.




8. Learn to debate
And accept the challenge to debate Pakatan Leaders. Don’t just have your hooligans throw rocks and eggs to them while they’re delivering their speeches.
9. Learn to save money
Please do not spend what you do not have. Don’t  make us suffer more. Train by playing the ‘Aku Jimat’ game.





10. Learn to say sorry
It does not hurt to admit the truth and apologize for all the difficult times you have put us through. We are very forgiving. Though we may never forget.

Happy New Year.

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